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Romantic and sexual feelings and openings can be very important to the awakening process and often arise in the teacher/student or mentor/mentee relationship. To suppress or avoid such feelings would be unfortunate for the healing and growth of students, whereas to act impulsively upon them would be a potential violation of the trust that participants in this work extend to those who are in positions of authority, guidance, or leadership. These guidelines address those occasions when the openings and feelings occur in the direct relationship between teachers and students or mentors and mentees. In these cases the agreements essentially require that you welcome, allow, contain and investigate these feelings, and then communicate and explore the potential ramifications of these feelings with your peer group (for teachers) or supervising teacher and peer group (for mentors) (hereafter referred to as "support team" in either case). It may be the case that a relationship with a student or mentee will be the outcome of the energies and feelings that arise in your work. If that is the case, these agreements are guidelines for making prudent and caring adjustments so that a relationship can begin well and develop auspiciously to the benefit of both people, and avoid unnecessary pain for all affected parties.
In light of these considerations, it is our policy to refrain from initiating, exploring or acting upon romantic or sexual feelings with a participant at any WDM-related event where we are functioning in a teaching or mentoring capacity. Furthermore, we agree not to initiate any confession, exploration, or action regarding any sexual or romantic feelings that may arise for any student whom we have agreed to serve as a Waking Down in Mutuality teacher or mentor throughout the duration of our formal work together. In the event that persistent romantic or sexual feelings toward a student develop in the context of working as a Waking Down in Mutuality teacher or mentor, the teacher or mentor shall advise their support team of the nature of these feelings, and work carefully with their support team to stay alert to any detrimental impact these feelings may be having in their work with the student. If so recommended by their support team, the teacher or mentor shall also explore and examine such feelings with their therapist. If the arising feelings threaten to impair the quality of work the teacher or mentor is able to do with their student, they shall discontinue working with the student and assist the student in every necessary way toward beginning work with another teacher/mentor. In this circumstance it may be useful to reveal their feelings to the student, if it is agreed by their support team that to do so would not likely be harmful to the student. In the situation where both parties are not involved in other committed monogamous relationships, it is permissible to carefully proceed with an investigation of romantic possibilities as long as the teacher or mentor is not directly functioning as the student's primary teacher or mentor, and has not been in that role for a period of at least 3 months. However, in the case where a teacher or mentor is considering pursuing a relationship with an ex-student, or any student who is still relatively new to the work, they shall discuss the situation with their support team who may also seek advice from a larger council including but not limited to the student's current primary teacher, before proceeding, and shall refrain from doing so if the consensus opinion is that to proceed would be detrimental to the student. |